Do I miss him enough?

Chat at 1 p.m.

My boyfriend and I have been together for eight months, and he went off to basic training about a month and a half ago. We knew each other for about nine months before we started dating. There aren't many problems in the relationship other than his ex, who keeps coming back to break us up (but I feel she brings us closer together).

One real problem is the distance – sort of. I'm worried because I don't know if I really miss him or if I just miss the company. Now that he's at basic training, I think about him all the time, but I don't think I really miss him in a big way.

The first week was really tough, but since then I'm basically living as I did when I was single – except now I get correspondence every day. I'm not hanging out with other guys, so it's not like he's been replaced or anything. I'm just worried that there's a lack of emotion on my end.

Are my feelings strong enough? Is it bad that I'm not more upset about the distance?

– Feeling distant


You dated this person for about six months before he left for basic training. That's a good amount of time, but it's not forever. It makes sense that you were able to jump back into your single routine. That's the one you're used to.

I don't see any problem with how much you're missing him. You think about him a lot, and it sounds like you do miss his company. You're not wishing you were single; you're simply able to enjoy yourself on your own. I'd be more worried if you were waiting by your phone, unable to focus on anything but the arrival of his next email.

If he were local right now, you wouldn't be asking yourself massive questions about the future of the relationship. There's no reason to do that now, just because he's away.

Don't feel bad about enjoying your life on your own. Instead, focus on his correspondence, and then see how everything feels when he returns.

– Meredith

Readers? At eight months, should this distance be more difficult?